Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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