How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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