She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
