I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
