Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
