dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
im about as happy as oj after his trial
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
