let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Do vagina's smell?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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