I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
