Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
i need some magic done to my vagina
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
