Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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