Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
