I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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