so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
