Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
