There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize