How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
