she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
