You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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