brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
How external is "for external use only"?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
