Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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