alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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