why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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