Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
