I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
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