my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
