I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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