I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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