i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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