Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize