Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
