Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
