she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
