And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
