she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
All the doctor said was why
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
