who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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