Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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