I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
