She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize