dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
