I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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