I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
