in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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