I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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