I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
