It's a beautiful day for a hangover
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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