and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
