I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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