Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
