No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
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Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
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When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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