his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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