This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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