he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame