Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere