Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
this will be a night to untag.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.