Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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