he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
two words...techno handjob
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
