she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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