I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
