This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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