I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
