I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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