I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
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I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
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He keeps bees of course he's weird
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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