What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
