i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
