Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
