I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
How's work?
Spinning.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
